So I was with some friends the other day and I was explaining how I'm cutting out some foods at the moment (see previous post about my restrictive month-long diet!) and they asked why. Well, I'm never one to admit outright that I have IBS, so I told them it was to try and sort out my 'digestive problems'. At this point one of my friends (who does happen to be rather outspoken anyway, but it's one of the reasons we love her so much!) turned to me and just said so matter-of-factly, 'Is it IBS?'.
My initial reaction was shock. I wasn't really sure what to say as I've never been asked outright like that before but in some ways the bluntness just made the conversation a whole lot less awkward. So I admitted to my three friends that were there that yes, I do have IBS. At this point another one of my friends pipes up that her school friend also has IBS. I did explain to them that there are lots of types of IBS.
However, despite the actual feeling of relief that comes from them knowing I have IBS (and being reassured by them all that I actually can talk to them about 'anything') I still couldn't bring myself to tell them I had 'constipation.' I think this is because there is no more-scientific term I can use to hide behind here. My constipation is really very chronic and to not explain about that means I haven't really explained my condition to them at all, they are not much closer to understanding what I go through than what they were before. I guess I'm embarrassed. No-one wants to talk to their friends about poo, do they? Maybe if it was just me and the very outspoken friend, I would have admitted it, as she frequently shares too much information with us! However, the other two are more reserved, perhaps we would also say more 'polite' with their conversation, and I cannot think of a 'polite' way of talking about constipation, it just cannot be done!
It's sad thought, because having opened up the conversation, I really wish they knew, and I really want to talk them. It would have been a massive weight off my chest, particularly as I'm sharing a bathroom with them at uni this year (which starts in a few weeks!).... :/
So whilst my friends know I have IBS, which is a big step, I wish I was able to confide in them more. I hate having such a secret, especially as it effects me so much. I'm just still on the search for a good way to approach the topic of 'chronic constipation' with them - as it's not something that often comes up in conversation! :)
Any ideas would be really appreciated!
Louisa :) xx
I still have very, very few friends who really know what goes on with me. Well, that's not true. A couple of years ago I started linking my blog on my Facebook, so I'm sure tons of my "friends" know about my IBS, but very few of them actually understand what it means for me. My fiance and our best friend are the only ones who know and accept everything about it. Even my parents and sisters don't get it and make me feel like I'd embarrass myself if I brought it up.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I broached the subject with my friend. Wait, yes I do! He moved in one year and found out very quickly that I had strange bathroom and eating habits. He was the one who actually asked me more about my condition. He'd always known that had IBS, but he didn't know how much of an impact it had on my life until he actually saw for himself what I went through.
Don't try to force it- they know that you have it now, so I'm sure they'll notice that you can't live life like a normal person. They'll become curious I'm sure and try to help you, and through that they'll learn more about it and hopefully come to accept it! I don't know if you'll get to where my fiance and I are and talk about your poop on a regular basis, but really I don't think I'd wish that on anyone :P
Good luck! And don't stress about it; I'm sure it will turn out even better for you!
Thank you, this was so reassuring! (And sorry it took me so long to reply!). I guess it's a case of 'we'll cross that bridge when we really need to' with my friends. Little by little I hope they'll understand, but I guess it's unrealistic to expect them to get it completely, why would they?
DeleteSo pleased to hear your fiance and friends are so good! Fingers crossed I'll be equally as lucky! :)